LET GO

LET GO

So weak and tired I dragged my feet

Counting each step as I approached my finish line 

I just can’t wait to take a seat 

Getting rid of the weight I carried was my utmost desire

Yet still I longed to hold on

I just couldn’t let all of this pain be gone

No! I’m not ready! I can’t! I won’t let go

I remember it, as if it was yesterday 

When I cared and held no grudges, but look where it’s got me today 

I still remember the time I was hurt and thought they were friends so never again

How can I let go of the fact that my parents abandoned me because they couldn’t afford to pay rent

How I kept giving my heart out to love and...oh! I can’t even find the right grammar because to me you can only find love in kdrama 

Now what’s left is rage and pain

Gobbling tablets of Efpac to blow my pain away.

I remember telling myself that’s enough 

You’ve got to be tough

The only way you’re going to sail through is by acting tough 

So all the pain ,hurt ,rage and depression 

Is in this weight that has become a burden

But No! I’m still not ready 

I can’t ! I won’t let go!

With all these thoughts running through my head, I still went on this journey 

Yes! I went on the journey because I met a man and he said join me.

He lived just across the street yet I would pass and not greet

First I began doubting him, then I had second thoughts 

Thinking the decision I’m about making was casting lots

So he started telling me a story about love

A story I thought was going to be too good to be true 

But he said this is not the love you knew

This is not about liking someone and trying to pursue 

It’s more of being right but still taking the fall

Being offended and not retaliating at all

Making a sacrifice even if there’s no price knowing perfectly you’ll still be criticized 

Then I realized I wasn’t casting lots I gave him my all without second thoughts 

Cos I knew it was true and not try your luck

He promised to fill the void in my heart that I’ve been using rage to avoid 

To trust him I had to let go of the weight I carried

That’s why for so long I still carried

As I got to the finish line he lifted my burden with a smile

The pain in loans I couldn’t pay alone was gone

I said to him in tears of joy

I’m sorry for not acknowledging you for this long

You’ve been here all this time 

Tell me where I’ve been looking cause you weren’t hard to find

Your words opened my eyes 

Now I’m loosing my pride to be loved like a child

So why not bring your burdens to him

Cause I know for sure that he’s gonna take your bitterness and give you joy

He’s gonna take your broken heart and make it whole and he’s gonna paint that scarlet white as snow

So just let go

For I realized that I actually could and I let go of it.